It's good to remember that one of the reasons for doing TBL is to teach people how to work together in teams.  I would call Tina in and ask her.  If this happens on a job, is she going to just storm out every time? I would also call in Romona and ask her how would she deal with harsh criticism at work? Then set them both down and try to mediate.  Tina says, Ramona is "overberaring".  I don't let my students get a way with personality descriptors.  They have to put it in behavioral terms.  What exactly does Romona do or say that makes Tina says that?  Then with Tina, I would ask when that happens what do you do?  What could you do differently?  Ramona admitted that she can be directive.  Ask Ramona to give a behavioral example of her directiveness.  Then ask if there's a different way she could have approached it to achieve the same goal.  The key factor here is that it wasn't Ramona's goal to run people off and ti wasn't Tina's goal to storm out. I would have them verify this.  I would then try to focus back on team communications that focus on achieving the team goals.  

On Sun, Feb 26, 2017 at 11:24 PM, Jen Wrye <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

Hi list,

 

I’m still a newbie!, and, I’ve got my first interpersonal conflict. As background, I teach a course with only two groups: one has 5 members and the other has 4. During a class last week, “Tina” kind of stormed out of class abruptly at the break. Her teammates (and I) asked her if she was ok. She said she was annoyed and left upset. “Ramona” emailed Tina to check in. In that message Ramona admitted she can be direct in her approach, was humble and expressed hope they can get back on track.

 

Tina responded:

 

“My issue was with you. The reason why I said nothing is beacause at that moment I had nothing nice to say so it is best to reframe myself, thats the way I was taught. I also did not wish to express my thoughts when I was quite annoyed with your overbearing attitude, I find it quite trying at times and try to ignore it beause it is a part of your nature, but it was just to much to cope with on Tuesday.”

 

Romona has shared this. She’s upset and feels that they’re at an impasse. Ramona is talking about not coming back and/or figuring out an alternative to the current team situation. Midterm feedback is due on Tuesday at the midterm. Ramona doesn’t want to exchange feedback with Tina.  

 

I’ve emailed Tina a generic, ‘how are you’ but haven’t heard back yet. I’m considering talking with Ramona who reached out, to help her to work through why Tina’s message upset her and to problem solve her response. Tina’s message was certainly direct, but also in line with what Ramona wrote about herself.

 

I’m wondering if this is an advisable approach. I don’t want to meddle, but move them toward a resolution. I certainly don’t want to reconstitute all of the teams or reconfigure the course for a slighted student. Incidentally, both students are mature (early 40s and late 50s).

 

Any thoughts or other ideas are appreciated. I’m already VERY grateful for this listserv.

 

Thanks kindly,

 

Jen

 

 

 

 

 

Jen Wrye, PhD

Instructor, Department of Humanities & Social Sciences

North Island College

2300 Ryan Road

Courtenay, BC  V9N 8N6

(250) 334-5030

[log in to unmask]

 

 

I’m grateful to live in the traditional, unceded territories of the K’ómoks First Nation.

 


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