Hi list,

 

I’m still a newbie!, and, I’ve got my first interpersonal conflict. As background, I teach a course with only two groups: one has 5 members and the other has 4. During a class last week, “Tina” kind of stormed out of class abruptly at the break. Her teammates (and I) asked her if she was ok. She said she was annoyed and left upset. “Ramona” emailed Tina to check in. In that message Ramona admitted she can be direct in her approach, was humble and expressed hope they can get back on track.

 

Tina responded:

 

“My issue was with you. The reason why I said nothing is beacause at that moment I had nothing nice to say so it is best to reframe myself, thats the way I was taught. I also did not wish to express my thoughts when I was quite annoyed with your overbearing attitude, I find it quite trying at times and try to ignore it beause it is a part of your nature, but it was just to much to cope with on Tuesday.”

 

Romona has shared this. She’s upset and feels that they’re at an impasse. Ramona is talking about not coming back and/or figuring out an alternative to the current team situation. Midterm feedback is due on Tuesday at the midterm. Ramona doesn’t want to exchange feedback with Tina.  

 

I’ve emailed Tina a generic, ‘how are you’ but haven’t heard back yet. I’m considering talking with Ramona who reached out, to help her to work through why Tina’s message upset her and to problem solve her response. Tina’s message was certainly direct, but also in line with what Ramona wrote about herself.

 

I’m wondering if this is an advisable approach. I don’t want to meddle, but move them toward a resolution. I certainly don’t want to reconstitute all of the teams or reconfigure the course for a slighted student. Incidentally, both students are mature (early 40s and late 50s).

 

Any thoughts or other ideas are appreciated. I’m already VERY grateful for this listserv.

 

Thanks kindly,

 

Jen

 

 

 

 

 

Jen Wrye, PhD

Instructor, Department of Humanities & Social Sciences

North Island College

2300 Ryan Road

Courtenay, BC  V9N 8N6

(250) 334-5030

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I’m grateful to live in the traditional, unceded territories of the K’ómoks First Nation.